Anxiety/Paranoia — It’s Back
During the past couple of weeks, Bob has had anxiety/paranoia again, pretty much every day, starting in about mid-afternoon or evening. The two usually go together in him. I’m giving him the lowest possible dose of the meds for controlling those symptoms so he doesn’t get too groggy.
When he’s scared, he’ll usually say, “I’m scared.” When he says, “Something’s wrong,” that’s when I know he’s paranoid. When he’s paranoid, he also often says something about someone killing people, or he’ll tell me to be careful, or he’ll say he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Where all of that comes from, I have no clue. As far as I know, nothing in his life suggests that he witnessed or participated in any violence. So I wonder if it could come from a violent scene in a movie or on TV.
Maybe it’s simply a result of his tangled brain.
At least he’s not seeing anything disturbing on TV now. Our TV has been unplugged for some time, because he couldn’t follow any of the programs, and they just seemed to upset him. I’m finding it easy to live without TV; no withdrawal symptoms.
You are back, good.
I have found that the less I listen to the words, and the more that I am merely present the less upset the patient becomes. I think that often they know that the words aren’t quite right, often will apologize for not being right. But always are thankful that I have stayed through the little storm of emotion.
You hadn’t written for a while, I kept checking and was about to write and ask if everything was alright. I suppose that ‘alright’ might not be quite the right word, but then again it might. This business of going-away is the natural end to a friendship and love affair.
I have noticed how private and intense the connection can be, at those times when connection is possible, I am so glad to be present when those moments come about. I wrote a piece last week about saying goodbye over this extended period, I don’t think that anyone understood what I was trying to say, but I think that you would.
Good luck to both of you.
I ache for you as I read your most poignant entries. My husband was 58 years of age when stricken. Mary, from marys-view.blogspot.com sent me to check out your site).
Walking along side you - - -
Thank you, JeanMac, for your comforting comment about walking alongside me. And my heart goes out to you, too, as you go through this illness with your husband. It’s a rough road, that’s for sure. I’ll be reading your blog as time goes on.
Nice to hear from you again, Roger. Yes, I’m back … and forth! Sometimes just too busy to blog. Now it’s time to start working on taxes and so on and so on. I’m counting the days until Spring.
Hello srayz. Glad you’re writing again. And sorry to hear about the return of the paranoia. Do you think Bob could be revisiting some very old anxieties, such as those he may have had when he was in the service in WWII?
My grandmother, who didn’t have AD, nevertheless was a “sundowner.” Every afternoon, she would talk about her father and how he treated her when she was growing up. She was still suffering because of it, or suffering anew. I don’t think she was aware that this was a pattern she repeated each day, but I could tell the time by the drift of her conversation in that direction.
Just a thought.
Well, I suppose it’s possible that Bob could be revisiting old anxieties. He wasn’t overseas during WWII, so that wouldn’t be it. I think it’s also possible that the illness itself causes anxiety, paranoia and hallucinations that aren’t necessarily related to anything that happened in the person’s life. Hard to tell.
I’m sorry your grandmother had to suffer with unresolved childhood traumas.
Life sure can be tough.
It can be. You and Bob hang in there. Hugs to you both!